Day 3

Lets skip 2 my friend Kim never sent me  the pictures I was waiting for soo day 3 a picture of the cast from your favorite show I would have to pick weeds I love the drama & the story line is just great season 6 & I am still loving it

Sesame Street: Will.i.am's Song "What I Am"

Being a mom I watch sesame street & sometimes I hate it but other times they have songs like these's & it makes me think as much as Im watching this for my son it always helps me out to kinda cheesy I know but whatever (:

The most AMAZING boyfriend ever!

K well first off Im dumb & I dumped my amazing boy friend over something I shouldn't of at all .... but we ended up talking stuff out & Treavor (my amazing boyfriend) came down to my house last night I opened the doors & he had flowers!!!! 

I felt shocked but soo happy he loved me a enough to show me he looked super cute with his hair done & nice button up shirt I was putting the flowers in water & he asked if we should go to Brick Oven & I said yes (thats were we went on our first date (:)

 So we left my house & had a really good talk on the way to dinner then ate dinner & it  was just awesome I am sooo lucky to have my super amazing boy friend who cares sooo much I love being around him I love his eyes, his smile, his laugh, his voice, his hair, his touch, his look in his eyes when he looks at me & really just everything about him I soo thankful we worked everything out cuz I am in love with Treavor Hawkins he is the most amazing person I have ever meet he is my soul mate & I cant wait to spend forever by his side (:

Katy Perry - "Not Like the Movies" - Official Lyric Video

I've never heard this song before today but I like it a lot

I Think I'm Ready - Katy Perry - Lyrics

I love love love love this song I haven't heard it in like 3 years but its a good one for sure enjoy its one of katy perry earlier songs

Birthday Cake Fun

As most of you know that follow my blog Edison turned one on the 5th but sadly we were both really sick sooo we are having his birthday party on the 13th & this is the cute cake I am going to try to make I hope it turns out cute I will post pictures sooo we can compare ha ha I found a super cute website with 61 unique birthday cakes http://www.parenting.com/birthday-cakes check it out (: 

We Are The World 25 For Haiti - Official Video

I really love this video soooo much it makes me want to give back & one day I will have many goals witch most of them are helping other people I think its the only way you could ever be truly happy (:

The 30 day challenge......

Can I do this? We will see 

Day 01 - A picture of yourself 

Me (: 

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Day 31 - A picture of yourself

New year wow!

Sooo its been forever! My cute little baby is now 1 & I have an amazing boy friend life is great cant really complain to much I'm really happy (:     ------->
super cute right?  Well pretty much my boyfriend is the most amazing person I have ever met & Im madly in love with him my son Edison adores him so that's a huge plus  

December already!

So I stop and think about life wow has this year flew by! I cant believe my baby is 9 months in 3 days. He is so big! & can do so much! I love his guts! I cant believe its almost time to start a new year! I thinking having a kid does something to time. I remember this time last year dragged on but I was also pregnant & that was a hard fun stage. I have learned so much & came so far this year I am greatful for all my trails that really have made me so much stronger! I am a blessed person for sure! Today  I need to do school online & get somethings cleaned. :) I love you my life!

Most amazing night!!!!

Tonight has been such a good night! I had the best talks ever with my mom, sister (heather), & sister & brother in law (Christina & Jon). I am at a cross roads lets be honest my life isnt what I want it to be I am not 100%happy at all & I have some huge choice I need to make I've known that for awhile now just not sure how to or was ready to. Well I am now I get that I just need to keep moving forward & I was able to get some really good advice & clear somethings up & work through a lot night. Life is not easy but it is what we make it. I am done feeling sorry for myself & ready to move on & work on my self. Its just one choice I have to make & stick to every day every hour every minute. I know this may get hard at times but I have a goal to serve 3 different people everyday so I can lose my self in service. I am so ready for that next step in my life. I am so blessed to have a wonderful family who loves me & wants whats best for me & Edison. Sometimes its hard to see things & we just need that one person to be honest enough to put us in our place.

Is there anything better?

I took Edison swinging today & his smile just brightens my whole world being his mom is the best thing ever I've been struggling a lot lately with some personal stuff & when I look at Edison nothing else matters he is my world but then again everything I do is going to effect him & its hard to know what to do sometimes ugh life is rough I hope one day I can not have so many worries and really have the happiness I want :)

Cross roads ....

I am so confessed lately I don't know what to do or think about anything any more I wish life wasnt so freaking hard I wish someone would come to save to me swipe me off my feet ha ha thats just me wishing for something that wont happen I am trying to stay strong for Edison & believe everything will work out some how ugh

I dont always remember......

Sometimes I forget how truly blessed I am I have so much when others have so little but yet I complain and forget to be grateful for what I do have...... 

I have a family who loves me and has taken me & my little brother into there home

they have always been so supportive of us & put our needs above there own many times

I have an amazing amazing mother who has helped me so much & father who stood by her stand and 

worked hard to always make sure his kids had what they needed 

I have 3 brothers I love dearly 

& 3 amazing sisters who are so kind & forgiving

My mom & dad are kind enough to take me & my son into there home &

 help me get on my feet while I go to school my mom watches Edison without charge 

I would be nothing with out my family they are my rock 

& strength when I am weak they love me so unconditionally & I am truly blessed to have them! 

I am also blessed to have many other thing most people don't have 

a roof over my head clean clothes a place to bath every day 

food to eat clean water to drink TV & movies to watch 

a nice computer being able to go to school freedom of speech and  many other freedoms 

I am blessed to have a beautiful a little boy who loves me 

its sad to think that some people cant bare children Edison is my world and I am so grateful to have him I love love love love him! 

 I am so grateful for all that I have & I want to start expressing my thankfulness 

more! 

EDISON

Ok so last week I told you Edison sat up well yesterday he got his first tooth its so cute

& yesterday took two naps in his crib he always want to sleep in my arms or in my bed right next to me but I need my space I sure love the little guy but enough is enough ha ha my sister says that he will be happier and I am all for that I love him to pieces tho but he rolls into over & over again 

and pulls my hair when he wakes up ugh 

Thank goodness for cribs!!! 

Its been a few!

Ok so I have been slacking on writing in here I have been so busy with school & taking care of Mr. Edison 

everyday I pretty much do the same thing oh my gosh I almost forgot Edison got him self to sit up yesterday for the first time 9/30/10 :) he is so funny he cant balance really at all so he falls or holds him self up with his arm he is kinda doing it backwards but its cute & so fun to see him do new thing I love love love it school has been so good I was doing online classes and did really good for the 1st 3 classes then started to have a hard time to I had to switch to classes on campus and I love it I have been learning so much I made the deans list(good grades) and get to go to a luncheon cuz of it I love school & I love that I am going to be able to take care of Edison and I

 I have been kinda sad lately over Curtis not that I want him back at all but it just hurt I put so much into what he had and he never cared or did what he should of but it is truly his loss I pray that one day I will find happiness I already have happiness with Edison that curtis will never get ( i dont see how a man can walk out on his child and not care) but I guess I mean companionship with a man who really understand and loves us (Edison & I) its hard raising a child alone I have a whole new respect for single moms it is so hard but so worth it I love Edison so much I am just so grateful to have a child 

"You Raise Me Up"

Ok so I know I talk about Edison 24/7 but he is my world I would be nothing with out him & honestly I have been having a hard time lately with being a single mom & trying to stay positive and really believing everything will work out I took Edison out side today and I swear every time he smile its the most amazing thing all over again I am so thankful to be his mother he makes me strong when I feel  weak he keeps me going when I want to give up he reminds me there is a god when I feel in doubt he reminds I have a reason a to live when I feel hopeless & 

I kept thinking of the song

 by Josh Groban you rise me up 

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be. 

I also think about god when I hear this song but Edison is my gift from god & I am so thankful to be his mother I know these hard times will pass & I am trying so hard to have faith I hope one day I will be really strong for all I have gone through I have changed my whole life around when I got pregnant I wanted Edison to have the best life possible I want to give him things I never got before I was adopted I know I cant stop every thing bad from happening to him but I do feel a lot of the things that were done to me I can stop the cycle & give him something better :) but on a different note I start taking classes on monday on campus no more of this online stuff I am excited to be in a class room again! 

La la la

Ok so last night before I went to bed I had to look at Edison & 

that's what I saw my little angel boy loving on his monkey! Edison is just so sweet & tender! 

I love him so much! He is my saving grace. 

Oh and yesterday I was having a really really hard day 

Edison is teething & was so grumpy.

 I was really down on myself I have struggled with depression for many years 

but two of my sisters & mom have gotten into a business called doTERRA.

Its Essential oils & I used a few yesterday to help me & oh my gosh they worked wonders 

I loved it! I will be using them everyday I am excited to not be on meds but have something natural & safe to help me! I already used them today & feel wonderful! 

Him & I

I have never done a blog but I am starting today

My life is at weird point but I am trying to be happy 

I am trying to find myself 

I left my husband & I am waiting for my divorce to go through 

I have a beautiful little boy I love to death he is the best thing that has happened to me

I am in school for graphic arts I love it

Life is a crazy thing but its what you make of it that matters 

& I am trying to make it the best I can :D 

That is my son Edison he is 6 & half months old he is my world 

He makes me strong when I am weak I love him oh so much!